When Heroes Battle

Naaalala niyo pa ba ang aking best friend kong si Em-em, the MetroMan? Nag-email kasi ulit siya, like sa mga emails niya sa akin problema na naman. This time hindi naman na sa work niya ang problem, personal life niya naman. Na-interview kasi siya sa isang radio show sa US. Quite controversial yung sagot niya kaya hayun, naeskandalo. Let me share it with you.

My best friend Billycoy,

Hi! Kamusta ulit? I’m totally pissed off again. Pasensya na if all my e-mails are puro problems na lang palagi, I don’t have enough friends here kasi. My colleagues in JLA are assholes and mga friends ko naman sa society here are sooo tupperwares, the hell with them talaga!

I’m dissed with this Enerva girl, she made me enter to a scandal kasi. The biatch! Paano ba naman kasi, I had an interview with this radio show. They have this segment kasi na ‘Forbidden Questions’ like you know, they were asking me with controversial questions. I made sagot naman with all transparency and honesty. I’m just being blatantly honest para maging good rolemodel sa mga youths here, there and everywhere. Unlike those colleagues in JLA, they are so Orocanic.

The question that puts me into scandal is the question “Have you ever had a one-night stand? With whom?” I answered “Yes, with Enerva.” Na-put ko in electrifying shock yata ang mga people here with my answer. There is a controversy kasi regarding with Enerva. She’s a real oozing venusian beauty kasi, maganda voice niya but the problem with her, she’s sooo muscular. She has a beautiful face with a body bigger than Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Nothing really happened to us, actually I am making a favor nga for her para mas makilala siya. One time in a bar kasi, I was totally drunk, but my alaala is still strong. I met her, we make pakilala to each other. Then there, I fell in love with her face, so we make out. Until we banged into her room. She stripped my clothes off and I can’t resist kasi she is sooo strong, mas malakas pa yata than with that jackass Superman! We were so aroused but when I stripped off her clothes, I was really really shocked. My jaw dropped and made a hole on the floor, I feel my head nearing to make sabog like the Atomic Bomb in Hiroshima!

Enerva has a wang! Her wang dropped and dangled at talagang it made sayad na sa sahig! Big eww!!! She tried to make lapit to me, but I resisted so I kick her and then blast off from her room. Big eww talaga the moment I saw it, I wanna make suka all my lamanloob over her. This Enerva is a shemale pala, eww talaga, and I kissed her pa with my tongue roaming her mouth. Yuck!!! I’m disgusted that night with her and with myself! Big eww everytime I remember that!

Days after dun sa interview, Enerva and I crossed in front of Tiffany’s here in New York. She suddenly made sampal me on the face, with her lakas ba naman so I threw off the air. Buti na lang I knew how to brake in air or else I will make largescale damage here in New York if I made tama with the buildings. I did not make patolling her kasi for me being a gentleman I don’t want to hit her. She flew to me and she want me to apologize ba naman! The biatch! I did not make hingi ng tawad to her nga, so I just flew off na lang. Siya dapat ask for apology kasi she or he violated me. If I knew she or HE was a shemale, I would have not tried to kiss her. My only fault was being too gwapo to attract everyone!

Ahh! I don’t want to make isip na nga that, I’m having goosebumps and make me wanna puke everytime I think of that. Sana lang may supervillain na dumating so I can make buhos all my anger to him na lang.

Till here na lang, I think I’m gonna puke na kasi.


Your best friend,

My mom arrive pala last week and she wanna say hi to you. I’m teaching her to write e-mail na nga para siya na mag-email and make kamusta to you.

Kay lufet talaga ng tadhana para kay Em-em. Lagi na lang siyang minamalas, dati sa work, ngayon sa personal life naman. Kakaawa talaga. Ano ba ang maitutulong ko sa kanya this time? Kahit ako kinikilabutan sa kwento niya!